The Bodygurards

The Bodyguards
Unless you have skin like leather your hair must stand on end whenever you get a glimpse of Sir Alan’s bodyguards. Who you say? You would think that a £700m fortune would enable him to get some big bruisers, part man and part hulk to follow him everywhere and protect him from world at large should he encounter any unsavoury characters. But no he has realized he does not need the typical burly bodyguard to shield him. He employs Nick “The Nail” Hewer and Margaret “Ice” Mountford, his trusted advisors who lead double lives appearing on world wide federation wrestling events globally.

Surely these contestants know how far they can go. When Margy coldly asks "what is bump and grind?" it was Jadine with no fear who calmly tells her 'it's like the Tango'. Brave Jadine dared to speak to the Ice Lady but credit to her, Margy bought it but at the same time she looked at this sorry bunch and said you will not harm my Alan on this task.

Nicky boy Hewer. The Gandolf of the boardroom. Although I sometimes wonder if he is more evil wizard Saruman than saviour. He cuts a stare and is totally unforgiving. Remember how his feathers were ruffled when Paul "Baked Bean" Callaghan was the woeful project manager on the task in France. You can see him saying or rather a booming "Selling cheese in France! How very dare you!"

Do not be deceived, these two bodyguards put the most heavyweight bailiff to shame. Sir Alan should be proud. And why not. These two are his eyes and ears who protect him from the contestants whose actions on this show leave a lot to be desired.